Thursday, June 23, 2016

I Love Adult Toys:) #FixThePlus

Not that kind of toys!

When my kids were little I was in toy heaven. I got to color, 'test' out toys and generally have an excuse to see through the eyes of a child. Although my inner-child is ready to come out at a moments notice.

I am a big fan of the trampoline, all that bouncing until I fell off so I will continue to steer clear of those.

Adult coloring books are making a comeback which my daughter-in-law loves to do so I know what I'm getting her for Christmas. Clicking on the link you can get some free printables.

There are parks popping up for senior citizens where you can play all day or at least until your arthritis flares up.
Go to http://www.governing.com/generations/government-management/gov-senior-playgrounds-popping-up.html

I love this quote:

As George Bernard Shaw famously said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

Which of course I'm a firm believer in. So don't forget to smile and play as if it was your last day.

What do you do for fun?


Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Tomorrow is 'National Pink Day' #FixThePlus


Happy National Pink Day! Everyone is invited to wear pink even the men can as well. Personally, I have seen men wear pink looking spectacular.

I myself have very few items of clothing that are pink for I tend to veer towards the darker colors but I do have a couple of shirts I can choose from.

You can make a pink cake with pink frosting with pink ice cream. While you are eating your pink cake and ice cream you can watch the movies Pretty In Pink or Pink Cadillac.

Pink is also used for breast cancer awareness which is in October. When it's Breast Awareness Day I have seen lots of ribbons tied to car antennas and mailboxes not to mention on people's shirts.

You can listen to Pink Floyd or Pink wearing your pink shirt, eating pink ice cream and cake. You can make a 'pinky swear' with someone.

Give your bestie, friend, mother, or anyone you choose a pink rose even. All in all, it's a wacky way to enjoy your day.

What are you going to for National Pink Day?

Monday, June 20, 2016

Eat Your Vegetables Day #FixThePlus


Today we celebrate eating your veggies. When I was growing up I used to hide my peas under my mashed potatoes thinking I was fooling my parents.

Today I love vegetables, I could live on them. A lot of people do live on just vegetable whether out of respect for animals or just plain want to be Vegan. Even people who enjoy meat balk at eating lamb or veal.

Here are some of the veggies you can grow indoors as well as out.

VEGETABLES

  • Peppers
  • Salad Greens 
  • Kale 
  • Chard
  • Carrots 
  • Onions 
  • Tomatoes, especially cherry types Beans
So open wide and much out on your vegetables!

What's your favorite vegetable?


Sunday, June 19, 2016

Learn to Relax



Enjoy that sunshine, even if it's on a random car!, in the Bay. Let's relax after a busy day out fishing:)

Friday, June 17, 2016

Another Fine Mess, aka Another "Tail" of Doo Doo

My childhood pets, Trixie the dog and Frisky the cat


So, today, I have another bit of scatalogical humor for you. How do you like that? Scatalogical humor. I confess that this is a new phrase for me. A college friend with whom I'm in contact through Facebook introduced it to me. I'd always heard "potty humor" or "bathroom humor" but scatalogical humor sounds much more dignified, doesn't it? It's also more inclusive, as the story I'm about to tell doesn't involve either a potty or a bathroom. It's not that I'm fixated on doo doo (I hope) but my recent blog about getting doo doo bombed by a seagull at Seaside Heights got me thinking about other, uh, interesting incidents in my life.

My good friend Adrienne is a fan of, er, scatalogical humor, and she is always surprised when I can appreciate it. She thinks I am too delicate a person for this sort of thing. I suppose I am selective. A contrived story is not nearly as funny as a true one. And then there is this. I came across a photo on the Internet where a woman was caught on camera, on an escalator, in a short white skirt, with liquid diarrhea dripping down her skirt and legs. Did you laugh at that? I hope not. If such a public disaster -- God forbid! -- should befall me, I hope someone doesn't photograph my humiliation and publish it to the Internet without my knowledge.

On the other hand, I laughed myself silly as I read about one man's nightmarish situation with a diarrhea emergency and a very unique bathroom situation on a private plane. I can laugh because the poor man clearly sees the humor in it himself. It's worth a read, if you can overlook a few fbombs that he drops. Then, no matter what embarrassing situation happens to you, you can (most likely) say to yourself, 'Well, at least, I didn't go through what that poor guy on the plane did."

The story you are about to read is true. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent, which is basically ... me.

During my college days, when I was home one summer, my brother Tim and I were given the task of carrying a ladder out to the backyard. (I should explain that my brother Tim would be a Tim Clark but that this Tim Clark is an entirely different person than the Tim Clark who owns and writes this blog.) I no longer remember the reason why a ladder was needed in the backyard. I only remember that something interesting happened in the process. I was on the far end of the ladder backing up with it, while my brother walked forwards with the other end, and I was barefoot, because I'm always barefoot whenever possible. Did I mention I had a dog? If you gather nothing else from this story, take note of this, that if you have a dog, walking backwards through your backyard barefoot is probably not a good idea.

Yes, you guessed it. I stepped in dog poo. Not only did I step in dog poo, I stepped in fresh, warm, moist dog poo that squished up really well between all the toesies. I suppose the wisest thing for me to do at that point would be for me to take the garden hose and hose off my foot. I didn't think of this however, because the backyard didn't seem like my realm. My older and wiser brother -- twelve years older to be exact -- could have pointed out this simple solution, only he was too busy laughing, doubled over, laughing really hard.



So, instead, I act like some slightly demented flamingo, hopping on one foot from the yard to the back door. Brother Tim never leaves my side, although not so much in support. He is still laughing. I think he is forgetting to breathe. Does he offer me advice? Tips? No. He just stays with me as my hysterical sidekick, my straight man who can't be serious. He's Harvey Korman.



I continue hopping through the house. I wish I could show you a "Family Circus" style map to show you just how far my trek through the house was to get to my final destination. I hopped through the family room, the dining room, the living room, up about five steps, a demented flamingo with fresh poo on her foot, down the hallway and into the bathroom. I then hopped into the tub where I could rinse off my foot.



And thus ends my "tail" of poo, which is very different from a tale of Pooh, although I hope you enjoy both.





  In case I made my brother Tim out to seem cruel, I just want to say that he is the best brother in the world. The Tim who owns this blog is pretty cool too and, perhaps, he is my distant relative.




Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Uh Oh Cheerios and Fly-By Doo Doo Bombings






Uh oh, Cheerios. You are probably thinking, "Isn't the slogan, 'Uh oh, Spaghettios'?" Well, recently, just last Sunday, I had an "Uh oh, Cheerios" moment. That moment came when I looked down at my shirt at the end of the church service and saw a chocolate Cheerio that had somehow adhered itself to my shirt, probably with a little milk acting as glue. I noticed this at the end of the service, which meant that I had sung with the worship team in front of the congregation and socialized during the Chapelccino coffee time, all the while having this charming decoration stuck to me.

How had it survived all of this? Nobody likes to (hopefully) embarrass their friends, but a good friend will point out that you have a strand of toilet paper on your shoe or a bit of mustard on your face, particularly before you are going to be on a platform somewhere. I can remember a time when an elderly lady in the church choir had a serious wardrobe malfunction, her skirt splitting up the back, exposing a lot of slip and leg and rear end. The dear lady, either from a little bit of Alzheimer's or her dreamy artistic disposition, seemed completely unaware of this, but some other choir ladies formed a human barricade around her in the church foyer to protect her from humiliation.

So, a Cheerio on the shirt is not quite at that level of potential embarrassment, but I have to wonder if it was noticed or unnoticed. I sat down with a cup of coffee at Chapelccino time, and a church lady friend made sure I had one of her home-made zucchini muffins and told several of us a story of how she had met her husband. It had drama! It had conflict! She told us about the moment when she first met him and how she had felt electricity as he pressed a business card into her hand and then how he promptly lost her interest when he was over an hour late to their first appointment. I was left hanging then as we had to hurry upstairs and into the service.

Did the Cheerio blend into the paisley pattern on my shirt? Did it look like a little brooch from a distance? I can just imagine the inner dialogue of the church ladies. "I like her brooch. It's simple. It's minimalist. It's organic. Where can I get one?" Maybe I should go into the jewelry business and gradually expand from Cheerio brooches to Froot Loop earrings.





I did a Google search and found the earrings above from the Sweet Clay Creations shop on Etsy.com. Maybe cereal as jewelry is not too far-fetched of a fashion trend.

My cousin had a different suggestion when I told him my story. He said, "You can always claim it was a political statement and that you were raising awareness for the Church Mouse Hunger Project."

This is, unfortunately, not the worst of my embarrassing and rather recent mishaps with clothing. Over the Memorial Day weekend, I went with friends to Seaside Heights in New Jersey. I was initiating a brand new pair of white shorts from Anthropologie, shorts of a delicate embroidered fabric. There must be some sort of Murphy's Law in effect when wearing white. If you wear white, you are practically daring staining substances to jump onto your person.

I spent most of my time on the beach lying down on my beach towel and enjoying the sounds of nature, including those charming little sea gulls. I looked up and noticed how graceful they were in the air with their little black feet tucked up against their tails.

Photo from Wikipedia







At one point, I showed myself slightly less lazy and sat up, watching the waves and the birds and the children around me playing in the sand. One seagull rewarded my admiration with a fly-by doo doo bombing. That's right. I was the innocent victim of a fly-by doo doo bombing. Not only that, but the scheming creature literally did this behind my back over my towel that was so nicely exposed while I was sitting up. So, I unknowingly lay right back down in my nice fresh white shorts.

I didn't notice anything strange until we were getting ready to leave, and I noticed this nice bit of squashed unidentified brownish substance on my towel. I then asked my friends, "Do I have anything on me?"

My friend Iris answered, "It looks like the poop." My friend Iris is originally from Hong Kong, and although she has lived in the States now for many years, she can still occasionally insert a "the" where you don't expect it. So, I made my way from the beach with a towel wrapped around me to hide a brownish blot on my nether regions.

Just to prove that Murphy's Law is in effect while wearing white, Iris was also wearing a fairly new white sleeveless sweater that day. We had our dinner at a nice little Italian restaurant and pizzeria in Toms River where we could hear the owner singing away in Italian in the next room. While making a point, Iris touched the table and flipped a fork full of tomato sauce onto herself and her white sweater.

I suppose it could be worse. The seagull could have arranged his timing so that I was still lying down when he flew by, and then the doo doo bomb may have landed directly on me.



Sunday, June 12, 2016

I have always loved children. They are what makes the world go round bringing you laughter and joy. So let's celebrate Children's Day and give you child a hug.




Friday, June 10, 2016

What's The Best Day Of All ???

Hello to all you working off-line jobs, the weekend is coming and just maybe the sun will make an appearance.